One is an odd number, but some singles are odder than others.
It seems the older we get, the less acceptable being single becomes. Being single is a lot like binge drinking: It’s perfectly fine until you graduate from college, then it’s just frowned upon. The trouble begins with concerned gazes and evolves into full-blown sympathy. Eventually friends start setting you up with, say, their socially awkward cousin from Cleveland or whomever else they can scrape from the bottom of the undesirable barrel. Like an alcoholic, you’re made to feel incomplete by society’s standards.
Then comes your intervention. Mine came from my father. Having met his fiancée on Eharmony.com more than five years ago, my father suggested that I join a dating website. It was an uncomfortable conversation. I expressed that I didn’t think Internet dating would work for me, but he insisted there was a dating website for everyone.
I was skeptical. With so many truly eccentric people in the world, could there really be a dating website for everyone? It only took 10 minutes on Google to answer that question. For people with foot fetishes to fanatic farmers to “furry” friends, there does appear to be a dating site for every imaginable quirk.
We decided to investigate. So here’s our top-10 bizarre dating websites. Take it from us, it might just be better to stay single.
Rumor has it Cheech and Chong met on this marijuana-friendly dating website and it seemed to work out well for them. It’s free, easy and green, just as any single stoner would have it. This is a dating site for buds seeking buds of all sorts. It’s not limited to dating, however. This site peddles plenty of products and offers DIY instructions on such topics as how to grow weed in your own home. It’s Martha Stewart meets Snoop Dogg in a dating website. The best part is the disclaimer: “420Dating.com does not advocate the use of any illegal substances.” Really? How do you explain the “Pass a Drug Test” link on your homepage?
I’m not sure who Ms. Madison is, but she’s running the Underground Railroad for cheaters. The slogan says it all: “Life is Short. Have an Affair.” How direct. Warning: It won’t be hard for your partner to figure out what’s going on when he/she checks your Internet history. Aspiring members on this site begin by selecting their relationship status—“attached” or single. In the real world, singles are upset to learn they’ve been dating a married man or woman. In this community, singles actually go looking for that kind of hook-up. Perhaps they should change their statuses to “home-wreckers” and “selfish jerks.”
Now here’s a dating website I can understand! TallFriends.com is for men and women of above average height. As a 6-foot lady, I’m thinking I’d fit right it. However, there’s a catch: It’s for tall people and their “admirers.” This means all the people with tall fetishes can join the website, too. No thank you. I get enough of those at the bar. A man’s eyes tend to wander from a woman’s face, but this is especially bad when his face is already at chest height. Freaks on this site might want to climb their way to the fruit, but this tree won’t be climbed.
This sounds like a sci-fi experiment to me; it’s just creepy. On this dating website, singles pay $249 for a genetic test just to join. From there, they are matched according to genetic compatibility. Forget getting to know each other and the importance of personality. Baby-making aside, how could DNA compatibility be so important in a relationship? Well, the website claims that this guarantees a better sex life, a more successful relationship and improved fertility. I call it shenanigans. People were falling in love when humankind was still beating rocks together for fire. Science ruins everything.
Rawr! As the name suggests, this is a website for cougars. Not the big kitty, of course, but older women seeking much younger men. The description reads, “Cougar Life is the premier online dating service that pairs women in their prime with younger men and ends the double standard!”
They make it sound so empowering. It sounds more like a midlife crisis to me. Middle-aged men lose their hair and get a motorcycle; cougars lose their husbands and get a young, hot man. A facelift is probably thrown in there, too. Hey, who am I to judge? I just hope I never find my mom on this website.
Despite the poorly chosen title, I assure you this is not a bestiality website. Don’t worry though, it’s still entertainingly weird. DateMyPet.com is a networking website for pet lovers seeking friends or partners. Honestly, this sounds like an animal-abuse violation waiting to happen. There’s a reason cat ladies are single. They’re often recluses who love their cats more than people. Plus, if two avid cat lovers hooked up, it might result in an episode of “Animal Hoarders.”
If you aren’t familiar with “World of Warcraft”—the fantasy role-play computer game—you probably won’t find your next mate on DateCraft.com. Basically, members join an online world where they explore each other as personalized, mythical beings. Whether they’re elves or orcs, members interact with one another to complete quests and have a cyber-blast. Nerd-gasm! The only drawback is an addiction to the game and an extreme case of virginity. With an imaginary, online life to live, many users forget their hygiene and self-respect. This makes dating in the real world a little difficult for these nerdy gamers. DateCraft.com might lure these role-players out of their houses for the first time, but it doesn’t necessary make them role-playahs.
On this site, users “vwant” to suck your blood—and your face. Aimed at wanna-be vampires and vampire lovers, this dating website, not surprisingly, was inspired by the book/movie series “Twilight.” Why anyone would want to mimic this series or its characters on a dating website is a mystery to me. If you’ve ever seen “Twilight,” you know just how sexually frustrating it is. There’s a whole lot of staring and heavy breathing without actual sex. I walked out of the movie feeling less satisfied than when I came in. As far as the vampire obsession goes, I just don’t get it.
OK, a little explanation is needed for this geekery. A “furry” is a person who enjoys dressing in animal costumes. This is all fine and dandy, but furries insist on going out in public. They can be found in organized groups and conventions much like “Star Trek” fans. Also, like Trekkies, they’re famous for gettin’ freaky with each other. (I always knew Chucky Cheese had a secret.) FurryMate.com is a dating website for these unique fur-lovers to love and pet each other until they cough up a hairball. Instead of showing the real people behind the masks and ears, profile pictures show their furry personas. Wow. I mean, meow.
Heard of this one before? BeautifulPeople.com has been featured on countless TV shows and all over the Internet. The creators of this site are so proud of this fact that they post it right on the homepage. It clinched the No. 1 spot in our weird and wacky lineup because it is an oasis for the shallowest and most narcissistic people. At least the other nine dating websites on our list have a common interest in mind. As bizarre or unusual as they may be, people on those sites are genuinely looking for others who think like them. I can’t say the same for the jackasses on BeautifulPeople.com. There’s not a lot of deep thinking going on here; it’s all about how good you look. In my opinion, this website is just cruel. Before a person can become a member, they first have to submit a picture and a profile that current members vote on. If the person is deemed unattractive by the majority, they aren’t allowed to join. I can only imagine the blow to the ego. Looking on the bright side, at least this keeps the shallow people together so the rest of us can take our game elsewhere.